hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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