What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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