I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
