I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
