actually, I'm a sock model
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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