I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she looked like the before picture.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
