hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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