i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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