vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
