Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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