i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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