OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
are you so shy because you have an std?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
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My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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