in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
