Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
