so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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