He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
