I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
