I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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