I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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