when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
