i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Randomize
