now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
