It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize