You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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