I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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