I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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