9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
