Dual....:-)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
