We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
