I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize