I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
