She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
