That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
