Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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