I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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