Ambien. No doubt about it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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