I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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