: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Found your dick twin last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i believe in u and ur pee
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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