I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
