Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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