My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
