I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
