Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
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have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.