I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
