I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now