so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
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Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
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DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy