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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Good. You are like the clit whisperer.

  Fav 26 7025 875

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

  Fav 42 1517 6916

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.

  Fav 33 3412 2722

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.

  Fav 13 2702 1116

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (315): View more from New York

  Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.

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• (818): View more from California

  look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.

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