oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
smell my finger.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
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Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
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It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.