Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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