the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i dont even know how to be here
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Im part way to drunk.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
