Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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