Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
