Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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