I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
