i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
