we have officially lost it.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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