I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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