dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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