Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
