2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
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