friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
