so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
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He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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