dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
