How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
