I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i need some magic done to my vagina
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
