I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize