i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
