For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
