Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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