Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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