So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
