In the future we'll all be gay
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
