take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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